| The time has come. I'm henceforth posting on a new xanga. Go there and subscribe. I won't say goodbye, as there's really no parting involved.
pile_of_stones
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| A late night conversation with a friend fizzled into the acknowledgement that we should be sleeping by now. The main theme of the topic wasn't at all unfamiliar for two college girls. It often illudes the xanga scene as one of the more touchy subjects. Singleness is, we hope, a temporary state, and certainly not one I'd boast at being an expert on, despite being more familiar with it than I'd really like most people to know. I think I know just enough about the topic to know that its too far beyond my control to have any intense opinions about. I'm sure I can't rightly be inconsolably unhappy here and so desperate and bitter for marriage, or at least a boyfriend. I'm also unwilling to run to the saftly of utterly despising the idea of those being good. They are good. I am able to be happy. The matrix of the middle ground is terribly complicated. In the end I find myself in a place of not knowing a lot of things including what the right perspective, the right attitude, or the right actions might be. A few of my thoughts now stand in writing. They'll be around after I've learned more. I'll probably look back at myself and wish I could have always been as wise as I hope I'll be then. In thinking about that I see all the more my need not to hold it against myself that it takes time to learn. The promise stands that God is good even above the fact that my ignorance and sin exceeds what I know it to be right now. Sometimes I remember that Jesus taught his disciples to pray first that God's will be done and then for their daily bread. God is about doing his will and supplies my needs in that. God is about doing his will, and in that he is good. Sometimes I remember that. Sometimes I forget. If that's where I am now God is in the process of reminding me. I hope I appear very foolish to myself with time. Wisdom is deep enough to allow for that, and I'm sure I haven't waded that far into its depth yet. I'm content with my foolishness right now not because I think its good enough but because its being worked away by a good God. Its enough that he is good and I foolish. I hope you'll forgive me for that on those grounds. I know enough about what it is to be human to know that you probably can see evidence of this even more than I can. Don't forget that God is good.
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| This weekend I began seriously considering not graduating on time.
It surprised be to find an extra semester may not only be bearable but better.
Nothing's official yet. Preregistration is this week. At some point in time I'll be making a decision which will effect the timing of my life by a year. I'll be giving it alot of thought and prayer. I'm glad God is good regardless.
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| The appearance of flowers can't stop
From grassy base of trees up to their top
All the allergies are going
But its still grand just knowing
Tomorrow even more will pop up.
Around every corner there could be
A water-gun-bearing banshee
For someone's attempting
(someone-no friends exempting)
To "getca" unexpectedly.
Not far off is the close of a year
This time the third I've been here
As the days left collect
Into weeks I suspect
I remark at how they disappear.
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Monday—much the same as Mondays now have been—
Passed just like most the other days and a normal week set
in.
Tuesday passed as Monday did with little to stand out
Wednesday will probably come and go with nothing to talk
about.
Among the non excitement I find I have to say
I’m very glad, being well again, for a normal, busy day. |
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